Okay, not really. That’d be a funny enough story. In this case however the man wasn’t actually so disgusted with his humanzee daughter that he vowed not only to never do it again, but to prevent any and all people from ever doing it again. No. In this case the man is just a religious zealot that’s pretty much against any and all genetic manipulation that involves human DNA, but especially weird stuff like animal-human hybrids and gays having babies.

Calum MacKellar, a trained biochemist and now Elder of the Church of Scotland and bioethics think tank operator (quite the scary thought mixing religion and science like that), is warning the UK government that the The Human Fertilisation and Embryo Bill isn’t enough. For example, while it specifically prohibits the placement of animal sperm into a woman, it does not prohibit the opposite, of Scotsmen shagging sheep … or in this case Brits boffing chimpanzees … for science. I did it for science!

I guess I can kind of see the point. It is an interesting loophole. So if you’re going to ban cross-species genetic tampering, perhaps you should actually ban all interspecies sperm spewing. At least when it involves human DNA. And especially when it involves chimps. Because if there’s one thing the world is really scared of, it’s a humanzee. For some reason.

So yes, ban it I say.

Still…

Making things illegal seems to not exactly stop these things from happening. It just makes us feel better that the government theoretically says no. And it most definitely doesn’t prevent someone from doing it in some other place where it is legal. And with something as hot of a topic as a humanzee, no doubt, someone, somewhere, is going to do it at some point. For science. So all laws like this really do is put a government up on their soapbox so that they can say, “Not in my back yard!” While this sad world still turns.

Which in itself raises an ethical question. Would you rather have a well cared for humanzee in a first-world country with ethics you trust, or would you like to roll those dice and hope the humanzee’s quality of life doesn’t come up snake-eyes? It makes one ponder. Is moral indignation a satisfactory defense for ethical shunning?

Ah well. Such is life. At least Calum MacKellar gets to feel better about himself. If only it was that easy for the rest of us.

Isn’t he cute? That’s Goose, my beloved fluffy long-haired hamster. He used to be all grey. Now he’s turning a bit tan. Normally that’s something humans strive for. I’m not sure about hamsters. Actually, it worries me slightly because it might mean he’s a cross-breed. (In hamsters that can be dangerous because it brings out a higher probability of several genetic diseases. It’s especially bad to cross-breed dwarf hamster species.) So far he’s a healthy little hammie though. And now he has his own jungle!

Pet stores are dangerous. My hun and I went to the pet store to look at kittens. Well, they didn’t have any kittens. But they did have all sorts of neat hamster toys. And lizard toys. So now Goose has a more pet-friendly bedding of what looks like recycled paper instead of pine chips. (Yes, I know, urine on pine chips is bad for some pets. Which is why I made the switch.) He’s got raw cotton fluff to use as soft bedding. (Instead of bits of toilet paper or paper towel.) He has wooden fruits to chew on as well as his normal chewies. He’s even got mini corn cobs to gnaw on now. He’s got a dried sweet grass salad bowl filled with fruits and nuts. Oh, and a cool looking lizard terrarium tree to use as a house instead of his old translucent plastic multi-colored three-story fake house. He can also climb that tree.

So now Goose is a hamster in a jungle. His glass aquarium cage has a similarly-sized wire cage on top of it with tunnels to climb up to ledges in that cage. He has tons to climb. And in his upper cage is an edible hut with a straw roof. His setup is so cute. But then, Goose deserves the best. He’s a spoiled rotten little hammie. What more could a hamster want?

Well, okay, he could want a bath house filled will chinchilla sand. He had one. He not only slept in it all the time, but he peed in it too. So he started sleeping in wet pee mud. That can’t be good for him, so I took it away for a while. He’d only roll in it like a bath the first time I’d put it in his cage anyway. But other than that, he has everything a spoiled rotten hamster can desire.