Here’s one that puzzles me.  Like the appendix, wisdom teeth are one of those things that we humans have that we just don’t need.  And, often, end up causing us trouble.

If you couldn’t guess, yesterday morning I had my widsom teeth pulled.  All four of them.

And now my face is trying to swell up like a hamster hoarding treats.

It’s no fun.

Thank goodness that it was done after putting me to sleep.  I can’t even begin to imagine what it’d be like to be conscious during that.  Though I have to say, that anethesia was some pretty trippy stuff.  I swear, seconds after the IV was put in, I was out like a light.  And then supposedly after the operation was done the dentist / surgeon was asking me questions or something like that.  I wouldn’t know.  I don’t remember a whit of it.  Luckily my hun was there.  Even on our way home (she was driving, of course) we supposedly had a conversation about what broth to make me.  I don’t remember it, at all.

And when I got home and drank the broth, I decided it was the strangest tasting beef broth I’d had.  Not bad, mind you.  But definitely beef with some seasoning I couldn’t identify.

It was part chicken stock and part organic vegetable stock.  No beef.  That’s how messed up my head was.

Since then I’ve been living the luxury of Vicodin.  (Well, Hydrocodone.)  I feel like House.  Now if I just was grumpier and needed a cane…

Actually, I’m starting to wonder why Dr. House is so grumpy all the time.  That Vicodin sure is making me happy. 

But long story short, I’m all messed up!  My pillow had bloody drool on it.  I’m in pain.  Even my lips are swelling.  And if it weren’t for Malt-O-Meal I wouldn’t have anything even remotely solid in my stomach.  (It actually works out quite nicely since it’s solid enough to seem like food, but soft enough to swallow without chewing.)

All-in-all, I’d have better days.  And you’d think that by now we humans would have developed some kind of protein-based sealing glue that could like bandage and hold the gums together so that I don’t bleed and can just like go about my life.  And then my body would absorb it or it’d break down.  Or something neat and bio-techno like that.

But no.  I bleed and I hope the clots form and hold.

Yipee.

(Sarcasm folks.)

And you’d kind of figure that at some point evolution would finally do away with those wisdom teeth all together.

But I’m not so lucky.

Hair loss and graying in my early 20s.   Wisdom teeth pulled at 31.  Why couldn’t it have gone the other way around?

Oh well.  Such is life.  At least I’ll live.  And at least I’ve got my Vicodin!